Darkness
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: Tragic Theodore/Susan. Both of them have voices in their head. They deal with it very differently. Warning for thoughts of suicide.


**Written For:**

 **Quidditch Fanfiction League Competition:** Finals, Round 2  
Captain - Write a story, using the quote picked by your team's Beater 2 as inspiration. - It's not about the voices in your head—it's about what you do with them. (Lilly Singh/ iiSuperwomanii)

 **Hogwarts:** Scavenger hunt: Write for a pairing with less than 100 stories written on the database.

 **Hogwarts:** 365 Prompts: bloodshed

 _ **Warning for thoughts of suicide.**_

 **Darkness**

 _It's not about the voices in your head—it's about what you do with them. (Lilly Singh/ iiSuperwomanii)_

 _Kill. You're Evil. You're Like Your Father. Kill. Kill. Kill._

Theodore's eyes snapped open. His breathing picked up. He sat up in bed, gripping the bed sheets with tight fists as sweat dripped down his face.

He shook his head, doing his best to shake away the remnants of his nightmare. The voice that whispered while he slept, speaking harsh truths that he'd rather not think about.

He did his best to swallow, but a lump was lodged in his throat.

Theodore knew he was fighting a losing battle. He knew his genetics were against him. His mother was a cold-hearted bitch who only cared about money and how to get more of it. His father was a ruthless killer that would stop at nothing to get ahead.

Theodore Nott Junior. didn't stand a chance.

X

Theodore stared at the front page of the Daily Prophet. _'Even More Dead!'_ the headline screamed.

His mother had been with her latest plaything, but his father's whereabouts the previous night were unknown. Theodore sighed. Nott Senior had a hand in this. He just knew it.

 _Kill. You're Evil. You're Like Your Father. Kill. Kill. Kill._

Theodore gasped and looked up, his eyes wildly shifting from one person to the next in the crowded Great Hall. No one heard it. He did, though.

It was all in his head.

He scoffed to himself. He really _was_ going crazy.

His eyes landed on a girl with curly, strawberry blonde hair. Her crystal blue eyes were soft and understanding as they watched him.

Theodore narrowed his eyes threateningly, but she didn't flinch or look away. If anything her eyes became warmer and more compassionate.

Why did Susan Bones know?

X

Theodore watched as Loony Lovegood was cornered by her housemates. He watched them push her and take her things. She let it happen, never once raising her wand in defense or offense.

Something in him growled, hungry for release. He wanted to get involved. He thought about crucioing every last one of the Ravenclaws who were like a pack of wolves, banding together to pick on the weak one, the one all by herself.

 _Kill. You're Evil. You're Like Your Father. Kill. Kill. Kill._

He wanted to give into the voice. He was going to end up just like his father anyways. What was the point of fighting the inevitable?

X

Theodore knew Malfoy was planning something. He had some kind of mission from the Dark Lord. He didn't know exactly it was, but he knew if Malfoy succeeded, it wouldn't be good.

He stared at the newest Daily Prophet Another family had been targeted, and now they were dead as well.

"I know what it's like," a voice softly said behind him.

Theodore wasn't even surprised. "What do you want, Bones?"

"I hear voices too. They tell me to do things, and it's so hard to say no sometimes."

"I doubt your voices are telling you to kill people," Theodore sardonically said without turning around.

She shifted closer to him. "You're right. They're just telling me to kill myself."

That got Theodore's attention, and he finally looked at the Hufflepuff. "Why would you want to do that?"

Susan stared steadily, her pain easy to see. "I have no family. My only family was my aunt, and You-Know-Who killed her. It's hard finding a reason to live after that. I'm not sure how Potter does it."

Theodore swallowed. "And yet, you're still here."

Susan shrugged. "It's not easy, but I know what the right thing is."

"My father is a killer; I'm his son."

Susan waved it away. "That's just an excuse. You can be whatever you want to be. Don't let genetics define you." She blushed slightly and looked down at her feet. "I believe you can overcome this."

For the first time, he noticed how pretty Susan actually was. And for the first time, he felt something akin to hope. Maybe he wouldn't be just like his father.

X

Susan and Theodore sat under the tree by the Black Lake. Her head rested on his shoulder. "There's so much bloodshed in the paper today," she whispered sadly.

Theodore nodded. "Yes. I wonder why they make it so gruesome. Wouldn't it be easier to just use the Killing Curse?"

"I doubt it's as fun for them," she remarked.

 _Kill. You're Evil. You're Like Your Father. Kill. Kill. Kill._

Theodore closed his eyes, doing his best to tune out the voice that haunted his every waking and dreaming moment. A hand grabbed his, and he felt a squeeze.

"Fight it," she ordered. "Fight it. I know you can. You're strong. You can beat this. Fight it, fight it, fight it."

 _'Fight it, fight it, fight it.'_ That would be his new mantra.

Theodore opened his eyes and looked into Susan's beautiful gaze. "Don't give up on me."

"Never," she promised sweetly. Their lips moved closer, barely brushing, but it was enough to send an electric shock down his spine.

X

Theodore tried to stay strong. His effort was for Susan, but alas, darkness began to cloud him. His father had a stronger will than his son. And To Theodore Nott Senior, if his son didn't follow footsteps of death and destruction, he was a weakling, something to throw away like yesterday's garbage.

He grew distant, starting to disappear from the Slytherin dorm. Susan tried to talk to him, but he brushed her off. When he slept at night, all he saw was death. It was time to stop fighting what he was.

Eventually, he came across a fourth year Half-blood Ravenclaw, one that he knew was orphaned by the war. He raised his wand and muttered the infamous curse. A green light flew from it, hitting the kid square in the chest. He tried to make excuses for himself. _'I'm putting the kid out of his misery.'_

He expected to feel some kind of pain. Some kind of regret or sadness. But he felt nothing. His body was numb.

It was entirely too easy being like his father.

X

Susan stared at the petrified Theodore Nott. Aurors swarm around him as well as other student Death Eaters. They would be given a fair trial, but the evidence was damning.

She sighed. She really thought he was strong enough to ignore the voices. She had so much hope for him. So much hope for _them_.

She gripped her wand. At least he wasn't dead. That was something.

"Sometimes, the darkness is just too alluring," a whispery voice stated next to her.

Susan wasn't surprised by Lovegood's presence. She was always around nowadays. "I guess so. I thought he'd be able to beat it, though."

"Just because he failed, doesn't mean you will," Luna said knowingly.

Susan gulped. "What do you mean?" No one but Theodore knew about her dark thoughts.

Luna took her hand. "You're a strong woman, Susan Bones. Have faith that things will get better. You won't be alone forever."

"I thought Theodore could be my special someone..." She trailed off, unsure why she was telling the younger blonde this.

"He was too damaged, too far gone in the darkness. It was too late for him to be saved, but it's not too late for you."

Susan closed her eyes. Theodore had failed. He had given into the voices. Susan wouldn't, though. She was stronger than that, and she'd defeat the darkness that resided within her.

XX

(word count: 1,241)


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